a new year’s skit for two players (singles may want to use a mirror)
Good to see you. I need you to work something out for me.
Let me guess, still busy with your depopulation schemes?
Well, yes. This time I think we can hit the jackpot. But I need you to confirm my ideas. You’re smart, you’re not going to let me down.
If the price is right.
It always is, you know that. So, to get things going, we need to reduce the numbers, desperately, drastically. The question is how. And you’re going to give us the answer.
I see. Do you wish me to focus on target populations or do you believe in a wider approach?
Make that wide, but nobody above the million value.
Of course not.
Make that half a million. And it can’t be violent, either. Modern consumers don’t get violence. All those years we have been trying to sell them war with Russia, but they couldn’t care less. They simply refuse to panic.
Sounds to me like you need a disease. Invisible threats always work best.
Perhaps. Anything in mind?
Let me get back to you on that.
8
Have you done your research?
It’s quite simple. What you want is an initial scare. Kill a lot of people and make believe it’s a virus, a new one, both deadly and contagious. Scare the shit out of their dumb brains. Then you grant yourself the right, the moral obligation, to rescue your people through whatever means you deem appropriate.
Perfect. Please, continue.
Controlling the sheeple is easy. As long as we have the press on our side, we can sell them anything.
You will.
What I’m not having clear, though, is where you are going to get those deaths from.That’s not really my department.
Leave that to us. All I need to know from you is, can you deliver? Will you be able to support and fortify our point of view?
Try me.
Ha ha, you’re funny. You really don’t have any morals.
I’m merely trying to survive. I have no time for morals.
That’s how we want our future workforce to be. You’re really quite modern, wouldn’t you think?
I don’t discuss opinions with people who exercise power over me.
Ay hombre*, are we being sensitive.
It’s just my business approach.
Fine with me.
8
We haven’t spoken about spreading yet. How do you want the plague to evolve?
Starting in China, obviously, and then to some European business hubs, then England, us and the rest of the world. At some point it’s not important anymore.
I’ll get some storylines ready, then.
You do that. And while you’re at it, start working on the overarching plot of their new reality.
I saw that video your people released, about everybody’s imminent future. It was like Barbie in horror land. Pretty gross.
Feel free to come up with something better.
I don’t think you should threaten people with rules and restrictions. They are scared as it is from the uncontrollable pandemic. Give them commitment, make it fun to be on your side. Our side.
Do you think so? We have fed them violence all these years, would they honestly be in for a cheesy seventies treatment?
People have been in for the seventies ever since the nineteen fifties and they still are.
I guess you’re right, but most governments demand the harsh approach. They find it more easily manageable.
Well, then, all the more reason to offer relief. You’ve got that phrase: you’ll own nothing and you’ll be happy for it, something along that line. That’s way too open. You can’t say such things to people who’ve spent their whole lives working for possessions not even worth your wife’s* car.
What do you know about my wife’s car?
You’ve got to be a bit more subtle here. Also, reset is a heavy word, why not go for the great restart? Sounds better. More hopeful.
I won’t argue with that, but I fear Klaus won’t have it. It’s been his line all along.
Same with build back better. What do you mean, back? Will everything be destroyed first? Why not build better? Do better, follow better, believe better, be better. There’s a whole range of possibilities here.
You really don’t like what we’re doing, do you?
I think you’re showing your hostility too openly. I mean, compared with Nazi Germany, you’re going faster. What on Earth are people supposed to expect from you?
I see. It’s fear that is driving your creativity. Interesting. Perhaps, we lack that sense of fear now that we know we are winning.
Never underestimate the rage of the mob.
Sweetheart, we’ve got AI. Nothing’s gonna stop us now.
I wish you all the luck with that.
8
I thought we didn’t like each other.
I happen to know you, okay? Now listen, this is the big one. You’ve got to get this one right.
D’you mean the jab? Nobody wants it? Of course, no sane person wants the jab.
We need at least 75% taking it, make that 80.
So, what’s in it for them?
For them? Safety. No virus.
That’s real cool, as the virus doesn’t exist in the first place. No other incentive?
Well, yeah, we were thinking of further tightening the measures. No jab, no life.
We strictly rule.
Sorry?
Just finishing your line. But there you go again. Negative vibes don’t sell. What’sso great about the shot?
Great? Nothing much, actually. It wasn’t meant to.
Right on. You mean to say it’s a solidarity shot? Take one for the team?
That’s putting it nicely.
Which is what you should’ve been doing all along.
You keep saying so, dear, but you must understand this is not a happy message and the end is going to be quite ugly. It’s inevitable.
I do understand. It’s all fair and good, your honest desire to save only yourselves, but you owe them a Hollywood ending.
Hollywood?
Yeah, you know, something like Thelma and Louise.
Or Bonny and Clyde.
If you need shooting, fine.
* designations adjustable to desired gender expression
